Overcome Self-Doubt Once and For All

What I learned from nearly quitting music

The Prehistoric man

Let's imagine for a second that we are living in prehistoric times. Life is dangerous, and the only way to survive is to hunt for food (all while hoping nothing is hunting you). Practically every waking moment is consumed by fear of the unknown, but you survive. After a while you notice that you keep finding the same animal in the same area and you decide to lay a few traps in the area. The next day you see that your trap worked. You begin laying dozens of traps and instead of risking your life everyday, the food comes to you.

This is a loose description of how we evolved to come up with creative solutions. We do manual labor long enough to get tired of it, then we come up with a more effecient way of doing things. There are examples of this everywhere. Look at how we went from the record player, to the cd player, to the ipod, to where we are at now. As you continue reading think about this question:

How did we come up with the idea to lay a trap?

As our minds evolved to find creative solutions so did our sense of fear (due to the living conditions of the time).

What does this have to do with feeling unfulfilled?

When you decide to start a business, or pursue a creative venture, you open yourself up to the unknown. The unknown can produce this fear - which if we let stop us makes us feel unfulfilled. The key is to recognize that fear is not real.

In my own life I let my own fears cause me to quit trying to sell beats online. I was a beginner in 2012 so my beats weren't that great. Instead of posting online and receiving feedback and continuosly improving I stopped posting. I had a band to manage at the time so that was my excuse, but I knew that I ran.

Identity vs Reality

Our minds try to survive our perception of ourselves. When something threatens our perception it will feel as if we are in a life of death situation. This is why discussion on religion or politics (or what DAW is the best) become so heated. It's because we hold those topics close to our identity.

So we may also have a certain idea of what it is, or should be, to be to pursuing a creative career. A creative career is what most people desire the most and so we hold that close to our identity. When life happens or there is an inevitable setback you get a cognitive dissonance. That's why when something happens or doesn't happen instead of logically analyzing why it didn't work out we get depressed and question if we are good enough.

I know that's what happened to me in the story earlier. I questioned myself and ultimately that caused me to waste all of the energy I had been putting in. When you upload beats and you don't get the results that you were hoping for you might either:

Get a little frustrated (fight), or decide to quit (flight).

Fulfillment Exists in the Present

Pursuing the arts as a profession is full of unknowns. Life itself is full of unknowns. There is no way to get around this. Even if you had Timbaland himself guiding you, there is still no guarantee that things will go according to plan.

Thinking about the unknown is not the problem. After all you have to think about it to plan for the future. It's the fact that we identify with our thoughts and thus act as if they are real that causes suffering and pain.

There are a lot of spiritual teachings that say something to the effect of "you are not your mind". The mind is always either replaying events from the past, or looking forward to some future event. The problem is that neither of those exist. You cannot touch, taste, see or hear the past or the future. You can remember the past or fantasize about the future but you are doing it now in the present moment.

So when we imagine that goal that will finally make us happy we instantly compare that to where we are now. This creates a gap.

Our mind will automatically fill this gap if we leave it to it's own devises. It will say things like "That person must have something that I don't", or "I'll never be good enough".

The problem again is that the future doesn't actually exist. What does exist is the present moment. So as entrepreneurs we need to be thinking what can I do in the present moment. When your day to day actions line up with your greater goal in life you enter a state of flow. This produces that sense of fulfillment that we are looking for.

5-steps to Dealing with Negative Thoughts

The key is to not let the thoughts that your mind produces control your actions in the physical world. I know that's a lot easier said than done. So, I want to give you some actionable steps to take next time those negative thoughts start creeping in.

1. Zoom Out

There are two types of thought processes we as humans use. One is productive thinking. When you are sit doing the creative work, that is productive thinking. The other thought process is zooming out. This is when we take a mintute to be in the present moment and let life happen. By setting an intention and walking away and zooming out to the rest of life, our mind begins to work on the problem in the background. This how we came up with the idea to lay a trap.

2. Have the Resolve to do the Work, No Matter What.

We only have the rights to our labor, not to the fruits of our labor. The same way the warrior can only give his life to a cause whether it affords him the opportunity to win the war or not.

Ability is what you're capable of doing.

3. Be Soveriegn

The only thing that can stand in your way is what you choose to hold on to. Don't give your power away to outside sources. Nothing out there can fulfill you anyways. Don't let the opinions of others, nor what we think the opinions of others might be affect our self-worth.

4. Enter the Flow State

Whether you know it or not by doing the work you are fulfilled already. When you're completely focused on making that song you aren't thinking ahead to some future goal and you aren't reminiscing on past mistakes. Any success or monetary acheivement is extra.

5. Realize That You Are Enough Already

I know this may sound cliche, but no matter how "successful" you get that will not fulfill you. How many "successful people" have chosen self deletion or have become depressed. Once they have the success they crave, they can no longer dilute themselves. There's no more thinking "one day I'll be happy". You have the choice in every moment to choose how you feel.

Conclusion

I hoped that this has helps you the next time you start to question yourself. Remember to keep going even if you have to take a break.

If you would like to work with me 1-to-1 you can book a free call here: https://calendly.com/marcusmakesmusic/interview

Enjoy access to my catalog of beats: https://marcusmakesmusic1.beatstars.com

Calling all rappers and singers click here: https://marcusrwheat.systeme.io/artiswar

- Marcus